Something happened right before I went on a 3 week holiday and it has severely affected my faith. Its not a one-time event. Its been simmering inside of me, a series of experiences has been nibbling at my faith, corroding it and what happened on the night before I left was the straw that broke the camel’s back. It has now erupted to the surface and those days during my holiday was just the right time for me to think these through and deal with it.
I am finding it very hard to push myself to write on religious topics as a result, and that is why I haven’t posted anything after coming back , until now. Because of this, I am not posting any on religious topics in the future, scrapping my plan to write a book about who the true God is, and would instead concentrate on epistemological and linguistic topics. The only time maybe that I would write on anything religious are when it would impinge on the epistemological and linguistic, or probably when I am being nostalgic and would like to offload.
I am not against any religion, or that I don’t believe that God exists. I am now technically an apathetic mild agnostic. I am not an atheist, the foundation beliefs of atheism can’t be proven. My faith has been shattered and I do not know how to re-assemble my faith and which pieces of information and experience to trust as true. I’ve been a believer for several years and now it seems to me that no organized religion has got it right and worse no man will ever get it right, including me. Now, I think neither science nor religion is telling the whole truth. Everything is an approximation of what may be the truth. Those years has been wasted.
I am not saying that my faith can’t be fixed, but its a tall order. I am now concentrating on re-molding my life to fit this profound change in my worldview.
Tahoŋ kadlagan чakoh (I am a man of the forest).
